Tuesday

Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace  ~ Author Unknown

My Tuesdays, of late, are mundane. Where MWF = kids in school and me doing my part to quietly assist in carrying some sort of bacon back to our humble abode, Tuesdays and Thursdays with the monkeys are usually spent just trying to survive the mundane. I strive for calm and resolve after such weekdays, as the constant angst and smack downs can get to even the strongest of us. Namely, me.


Yet, I'm never going to forget how Lila and AJ and I got to know each other very well on these mundane"Tuesdays"...

There exists an inherent bullshit and bittersweet bluntness to time. I'm finding a constant tugging at, pulling along of nostalgia, old songs, socks, ponytails, memories... and am reminded constantly of a quote that goes something along the lines of, "Children are people who pass through our lives briefly, and then disappear into adults." Ohh... Where will these little beings go? So, they grow into larger, cynical people? Yeah, I get that. It's all I see in my adult life. But there must be a place these small, hopeful, celestial things run away to... Just for a short amount of time, no?

Time without Lila and AJ is unthinkable. Though I've had time without them (in material existence) for the better part of my life, and I will have time without them (in such close proximity), as I must prepare myself for college et. al... On this, a random Tuesday in their 3's, imagining time and places without them simply breaks my heart. Instances and spaces would miss them - it's not just me. There is this world here, existing with them that wants them desperately to fill it all up...

I prefer the messy. I like the used, tattered, worn, noisy, pissed off, silly, stained, tested, and weathered. Crow's feet, callouses, and sun spots are welcome here. Make my existence loud and challenge my children and me. Paint our spaces with life and love. Add color. Let's fill up this world in whatever way we can...

I'll take mundane Tuesdays any day over productive Wednesdays. Mundane is good, if it's got heart.

The older I grow the more earnestly I feel that the few joys of childhood are the best that life has to give  ~ Ellen Glasgow