Hair Today...

I am defeated, and know it, if I meet any human being from whom I find myself unable to learn anything ~ George Herbert Palmer
I woke up a bit early yesterday morning to the sound of giggles. Though it was 6:05am, I was heartened by the fact that Lila and AJ were playing together merrily in one of their rooms upstairs. Mmmnn... It was quiet and mellow in our house. Ang must be at the gym. I smiled to myself in my almost-asleep, not-yet-awake cream colored haze. I smelled coffee. I have time to laze around, I thought... maybe grab one of our big navy-and-white flowered cups from Target and fill it up with ice and caffeine, then tumble back into our sumptuous bed to channel surf and check emails. I might even get a load of laundry done before the kids decide to head on downstairs at their usual wake-up time of 7. Perhaps the serenity was real...

Hell to the no. It was too damn quiet. In my real-mom heart, I knew.

But I had hope. I put on my non-mom attitude and a Red Sox sweatshirt and I sauntered into the living room. I filled up my coffee cup to the sounds of hee-hee'ing  sprites from the level above. Today was going to be a good day, I thought. A bit early for me to begin said day, but a good one, nonetheless...

I walked upstairs and peered inside AJ's room, knowing full well I'd find no one. They always end up in Lila's sweet lil' room. Though it's smaller than his, it's so much brighter and softer. I think that's why they choose it... Sure enough, they were hiding behind Lila's chair, per usual. A chair with some odd orange fur attached to its white chambray arm. I put down my coffee and, upon inspection of the chair, realized with CSI precision that the orange matter was, in fact, Flopsy fur.

"AJ-Lila! Who cut Flopsy's fur??? And where did you get scissors???"

Silence. And then one head popped up slowly from behind the corner chair. A head with a big-ass bald spot front-and-center and a mouth telling me, "Not just Flopsy. Look at Lila."

Yes. Whatever you imagine might be cut here, is cut. One whole side of Lila's beautiful hair? Gone. Including that lil' tuft on top there.

So. I freaked. AJ had an entire bald patch, thanks to his foray into the world of oddly inspired
"Shear Genius", so I gave him a 6:15am buzz cut. I was pissed, but moreso, I was scared. Scissors, people. My babies got a hold of scissors. I was scared.

My naughty love.
I didn't know how to react. I yelled about how dangerous scissors are (but I secretly blamed myself for having the scissors "findable"). I screamed about how naughty it is to use scissors when Mommy says "no scissors" and to cut Lila's hair (but I taunted myself for placing so much importance on looks). I ranted on and on about how they could have gotten hurt and how Lila now has to have her hair cut short thanks to AJ being naughty. (And internally, I berated myself for every part of my uproar consisting of vanity, guilt, and fear.)

This was definitely a crossroads for me. Mind you, AJ definitely did something naughty. And there needed to be a lesson (and a stylist) involved here. But I didn't know how I, myself, should learn from this. I now know to lock my office (home of the scissors) door, but I wasn't sure how to reprimand. I was pissed and scared and I, quite simply, wasn't sure how to be a good mom.

Enter: Lila.

"You are a good mommy. AJ was naughty, but I love my haircut. Chill out," said Lila.

I think often about how hard it is to be a mom. I've been with these guys 24/7 since school let out back in early June. I, quite honestly, haven't had a moment to myself. I leave the monkeys on the couch to sprint to the bathroom, only to find myself knee-hugged on the throne 32 seconds later. I take a quick shower while they're in the bath together in the very same room, and yet never fail to get a bubble-bathed bunny kissing my wet knee within seconds. They swim in the pool while I hope for a few minutes of sending off emails, and I'm enveloped with pleas for "Watch this, Mommy!" "Look at me!" the entire time. I tip-toe out of their rooms at night, hoping against all hope for a 10pm respite from mom duties, only to hear, "Don't go, mommy. I miss you."

Today was a long day. August was a long month, and it's only the 12th. This summer lasted forever. I have two little people who hang on my leg from 7am to 10pm (and a lot of times, from 10pm-7am!), and I have no respite. I get so freaking tired, I don't know what to do. I get frustrated and definitely second-guess my abilities at being a parent and at being sane. And the haircutting episode? Well, that was the last straw. I've figured it out...
I'm in this thing. I am hopelessly in love. I learn every day from these fine people how to mellow out, how to kiss and hug more than I ever thought I could, and to how to give myself a break. Not only are they worthy, but I am, too. We all make mistakes, but love is never one of them.

Happy Weekend!


Kimberly said…
Awe... your the best mommy.
Liz said…
I'm right there with you on feeling like parenting toddlers without any respite can make me a bit insane, but it's nonetheless worth every frustrating, relentless moment. I love being a mama {though I'm always a little relieved to hear I'm not the only one feeling like I need a drink every now and then}. :) Your twins are adorable and, although toddlers and scissors is definitely scary, their new hairdo's are cute. :)
SwedishJenn said…
Even though I caught the whole episode on FB, reading the first part of this post was a hoot. I am trying to think of a post that you've written where I haven't teared up at some point. You get me like every.freakn'.time. I'm lots late reading this but this was a time when I needed it most. You guys are the best. The end.
JennyCB said…
You mommies are awesome. xo

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