I will go in this waySo, I turn 41 on Thursday (as does Jennifer Aniston, I might add.) It's a little bit tougher for me than the big 4-0 was, to be honest. Along with turning 40 came a big celebration in Connecticut with all of my family and friends. It involved cheesy "Lordy, Lordy, Look who's 40!" paper napkins; the wonderful (if a bit skanky) Black Duck bar which holds so many great memories for Ang and me; a cozy, snowy New England night; and beer. Lots of beer.
and find my own way out.
I won't tell you what to be,
but I'm coming to much more
~ "41" by Dave Matthews Band
I believe that the direction and magnitude of every major life change is solely dependent upon one's perception... I felt like my 40th birthday was a fun life change, in a "we're-in-this-together, I'm-still-in-the-decade-of-my-30's-if-I-really-wanna-stretch-it, let's-do-a-blowjob-shot-with-my-sister" kind of way. 40 was just dipping my toes in the water. 41 is wading. It's "I am now in my 40's and my cankles are being swallowed by the surf."
But if my 41st year on this beautiful planet is anything like my 40th, I have so many experiences to learn from and so much to be inspired by. This past year I have experienced what it's like to go through: a medical scare, a friend pass away, good friends facing difficult challenges and life-changing heartache, and two toddlers simultaneously entering their two's with reckless abandon. taking no prisoners. mocking me whilst throwing care to the wind and Cheerios to the dog. (Sorry, tangent.)
And I've learned that...
- I'm stronger than I thought.
- All along I had support and deep-rooted friendship where I least expected it.
- I should never take for granted friends will be around forever.
- Friends are truly chosen family and the siblings I have picked in this lifetime are so, so strong and talented and capable and add so much to my life and to the lives surrounding them.
- I may very well be a big-time feminist, with a dash of Buddhist and Cowboys fan thrown in for good measure.
- I should really stop caring so damn much about what people think.
- I have more patience than I ever thought was possible.
- Skinny jeans really can look cute with the right top.
- Lila and AJ should get their own half-hour HBO stand-up show.
- I am truly one hell of a horrible singer/dancer/entertainer.
I heard somewhere a long time ago that the Dave Matthews Band gave their amazing song "#41" its name simply because it was the 41st song they wrote together. It is one of my all-time favorite DMB songs. It's a song with timeless, beautiful lyrics, sung with obvious emotion and impressive instrumentals - and yet its title is only a number. I like that.