Guest Bloggers


Lila: Mommy said she is employing something called creative license for this post.
AJ: I wanted to talk first! I wanted to say creative license!
Lila: OK, Adge. You go.
AJ: No! You go!
Lila: [sigh] You can be terribly annoying. Well, last night Mommy was trying to write a post about twins and she got writer's block. She says she always does when she attempts writing about the twin thing. Says she wants to share with people how utterly insane, worrisome, and yet totally cool it is at the same time to have twin monkeys, but doesn't know how. Doesn't want to come across as a "tool", I think was her word. That's funny. Tool. So, anyway, she's given herself creative license.
AJ: I wanted to say that part!
Lila: By all means, Adge. The floor is yours.
AJ: OK. I tell Mommy all the time how pretty she is. Just this morning I commented on her skirt and toenail polish being very, very cute. I'm always hoping these compliments will get me what I want, but I also do have a very big thing for nail polish... And for Mommy. Anyway, that is why she gives me lots of green Popsicles and is giving us the proverbial floor today.
Lila: Good job, Adge. And kudos for pulling the word "proverbial" out of your Huggies.
AJ: I think that's the creative license part, Yaya.
a j
Hey. I'm happy I'm the first guest blogger because, well... that's kind of my thing. Being first. All the time. I was born first -- a whole minute before Yaya, and I have a feeling I'm going to pull that one out of my bag of tricks several times in years to come. Heh. Especially when we are deciding on what to do for our birthday parties every year, which will always be all about Buzz Lightyear. Eff Tinkerbell. Ooh, or when we both want to use the car on the same night when we're teenagers? It'll be my car, anyway, so... AJ's blue car... That sounds so cool. Yaya can have a pink bike. I'm AJ and I'm the older one.

Almost all of the people who stop us when we're shopping and at restaurants ask my parents which one's older. That's right after they ask if we are twins and then, when Mommy says yes, they kind of just stand there, staring for awhile. Which is weird... We're all just happy it's no longer followed up by "Are they identical?" like half the strangers asked when we were really little. When they totally knew we're a boy and a girl! So silly. Mommy always just giggled at that one, but I can tell sometimes she was like WTF? I'm so happy we look different now. If we both had the same coloring, people would probably still ask if we were identical. So silly.

Anyway, I'm older by 60 entire seconds. But what I'm hearing is that it doesn't matter. When it comes to twins, I guess there's not a big enough age gap for there to be the whole birth order dynamic and pecking order we all are familiar with. Sometimes Mommy's weirded out by the lack of a "big/little" (brother/sister) element that is concrete and relatively dependable to a degree in so many families. I guess if I were two or three years older, or even ten months older, the dynamic between Lila and me would be more along the lines of something Mommy could better understand and prepare for. I personally think Yaya and I will figure it out on our own, but my mom's a bit in the dark on this.

She even gets a little sad that whatever mistakes she ends up making with one of us, she'll be making with the other, too, because there was no time to learn from prior parenting experience. And Yaya and I might even make the same mistakes at the same time because how could we possibly be mentors to eachother when we're the same exact age?! Whatever. I'm going to try to use that all-important minute to my advantage, regardless. And Mommy's not a tool for being worried about this stuff. I have a tool book and it only has room to fit a hammer and a saw and a drill. And the wrench that Stella ate.

Talking about our huge bear-dog, I am consumed with the fact that Stella goes to the bathroom outside. And that my parents go on the potty! Lila tries to, too, it's hilarious! I mean, what on earth is easier than just going in your pants? People are so goofy, I swear. So much effort, to go into a room and to close the door and pull down your pants, when all you have to do is, well, just go in your diaper, man. Silliness.

I try to convince Yaya all the time to go in her pants. Mommy thinks I'm a negative influence on her potty training. She tries to take my sister to the bathroom by herself so Yaya can have "private time", but I won't let them. My actions apparently warn my mom that I may fall off the couch and break my neck if left to my own devices, so she's forced to have me join Yaya for potty time. All three of us in a cramped bathroom with no window, it's awesome. Listen, Yaya's my sister and I have her back. Just go in your pants, I say. Flow free. That's my two cents on that and I'm not backing down. Mommy is worried I'll still be in diapers in high school, but I'll be trained by then. I won't want to get my blue car messy.

At the end of the day, I've gotta say... I've got it pretty good. My mom hugs me so hard sometimes I feel like I can't breathe, and I love it so so much. I hug her right back and always tell her "hug Mommy two more minutes" when she wants to put me in my bed. And then, without fail, right before I go to sleep and she turns off the light and closes the door, she'll ask me if I know how much she loves me. And in the blue twilight of my room, secretly, I know.

l i l a
What was Adge just writing about? Potty training and blue cars? He's so silly. He just doesn't get that it's all about kisses and hugs and cuddling and dancing... I love to take Pooh outside and wrap him in a big blanket and dance to Bob Marley and (What's their name, Mom?) oh, Black Eyed Peas. I love them. I love them tooo much. All the time. Love. Them. I love them and kiss them and hug them all the time and I am sooo happy. All of the time, I love and kiss and hug. Mmmmm good.

Mommy's worried that she doesn't get enough one-on-one time with us. She says she wants to ride in fast cars with AJ and take him to the water park. She says I'm so lovey, I think she calls it, and patient and stuff that we'd have a really good time at the library or the beach together. Just her and me. But... It doesn't really work out with just the three of us at public places because Adge kind of likes to run and be free and climb. And the stroller is a lesson in futility.


If you ask me, it seems quite apparent Adge is hell-bent on constantly trying to find new ways to hurt himself. I just want to read and talk about bears and babies and politics and the current real estate market, but it's hard when I keep getting books dropped on my feet or a big pile of sand placed on my head. And when Mommy has to chase my brother, who can run at an abnormally fast pace, she has a mini-aneurism that she's going to leave me in the dust. (Someone should clock Adge. I'm serious. The kids' fast.) So... I'm pretty cool with wherever we go, as long as there's a lot of books and Popsicles and cheese. And Pooh and my doll stroller, and about eleven blankets and my Dora sippy cup at any given moment.

My mom just mentioned something about her maybe, just possibly coming across as Sybil in this blog post. Who's Sybil? Mommy's silly. She's also extremely concerned with Adge and me being treated equally. In every way. If someone says something like, "Wow, AJ's eyes are so blue!", Mommy will say, "Yes, and Lila's are such a pretty hazel." Or, if someone says, "Lila is so much more mellow than AJ", Mommy will come back with, "They both have their mellow and crazy moments." So funny how she's obsessed with making sure nobody's picking favorites and that we're always seen as equals. Girlfriend's gotta relax, I say. I love her so much, but sometimes I think she needs some extra Pooh snugglin / Bob Marley dancin'... And plus, I love hearing her whisper into my ear whenever we dance, "Do you know how much I love you?" Because, in the glimmer of the lanai Christmas lights, secretly, I do...

h a p p y  t h u r s d a y !

Comments

Tahlia said…
AWESOME jen!
i loved it!
u r very talented and creative!
an those 2 lil buttons r jus as equally sweet as 2 non-identical twins could be =)
love them!

ps... their vocabulary is quite advanced... i need 2 get them 2gether w/ aniston asap!
Anonymous said…
PaJen do you know how much I love this, understand this, & really always wanted to read this? xoxo
Michele Peppe said…
As always Jen...thank you for the wonderful moments spent reading your posts that take my heart to places it never drempt of before....I love your writing...and i love you, too.
Ami said…
Jen, you are so talented! I love reading these. Such a good momma you are!

A
Heidi said…
aw, i loved this post! very creative and well written. you are so entertaining!

photo shoot tomorrow!!! yay!

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