Pointless Morning Musings...

So, Ang took the kids fishing this morning, leaving me a few greatly appreciated hours to myself. I have been waiting for some uninterrupted time to make bracelets. I started designing some pretty cool beaded bracelets about a year ago, but never seem to have the time to further my Beading 101 education.

Strange group, these women who string beads. They take it very seriously and - something I never knew - are quite legitimately called "beaders". I've been in my fave store Beadniks before when aforementioned women have haughtily asked others: "Are you a beader?" Or have asked the cashier for a discount on their purchase, simply stating: "I'm a beader." Now, though beading is not rocket science, I will admit that it's a lot tougher to make a strong, pretty, finished bracelet than I thought. However, I doubt very much that I will one day become so enamored with myself upon completing a beaded project to utter the sentence "I'm a beader". I've gotta tell you... this never fails to make me laugh and shake my head every time I hear it. I imagine this female cult of gems and thread in various situations:
Cop: Do you realize you were going 47 in a 25?
Beader: Ummm, I'm a beader....? So, yeeaah, you might want to rethink giving me a ticket there, big guy.
Woman at party: How is it that you know so many recipes for bean dip, Joanna?
Beader: Ohhh, I'm a BEADER, you silly thing. [snarf snarf]
Man at party: What religion are you, Pearl?
Beader: Why, I consider myself  to be quite the devout beader, Stan.
On my way back from (the now defunct) Beadniks this morning, I stopped by Publix to pick up some sliders for the grill, curly fries, and Corona. (Special and intricate diet, don't ask.) Now, there is another, albeit exponentially more endearing group of people in addition to beaders that can easily add spark to my day. And they are the Publix grocery baggers. I defy anyone wont for an awkward if amusing conversation to leave the line at our local Publix disappointed. Case in point:
Bagger: Heheheh. It's funny to be wrapping these flowers.
Me: Ohhh...?
Bagger: The last time I held flowers, I said, "Thanks to my adoring fans, thanks for the memories! Glad I left an impression on you. An impression from my cleats!" [Staring at me with desperation and a rather disconcerting smile. I could tell he was yearning for a response. Unmoving. Frightening, really.]
Me: Oh... you. That. Well, that is just... That's silly! And funny! You... you are a silly, funny, smiling man.
Bagger: I do weddings and bar mitzvahs, too...
Happy Saturday.


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